For My Mom

Well it’s been 2 years today since I got that call my mom was gone. Everyone always says how it gets easier with time. Those are the people who still have their moms, or dads, grandparents, or kids, brothers or sisters. Those are the people who really have no idea what this feels like. Because let me tell you, it hasn’t "gotten easier with time" time hasn’t "healed my wounds" and the pain hasn’t "eased" So take your words and feed the crap to someone else. If anything it’s gotten worse. Before I was numb, it was like it wasn’t real. She was on a vacation somewhere and would be home soon. But as time has worn on, you have to face it. It is very real, and she is NEVER coming home. That makes it worse. Another grandchild born she will never know. Another year without hearing her voice. How can that possibly get easier? I think that’s just something people say to make people feel better. But guess what? It doesn’t work. I’d rather you say...."I wish she was here with you" or even..."You can always talk to me", at best "I’ll cry with you" Not "It will get better" Just please stop lying to me, or your friends, or heck even yourself. Ok now I am done. Sorry guys but that’s just how I feel. We went to the cemetery. I wish I had brought my camera. Next time though.... And now a little picture blog dedicated to my mom.......


This is super old. I think my mom was 14 here.


Mom and I at Lake Tenkiller in 85’


I was probably about 4 here...which would make her 23.
That shirt I have on is so embarrassing!


1987?


Halloween at her work, she won first prize!
Halloween again, with her best friend Janey!


Yeah I don’t know who that guy is, but he is cute Lol.


At some bar, she liked to go out.


She also liked to dance!


Christmas 89’. My grandmother, my mom, her sister and her sister’s husband.


She went and joined the Army.


They sent her to Fort Polk, LA.


At my 11th birthday, so she was 30! She looks so young.



Her Glamour shots.

Her ex husband and his kids and us of course, this was 1998 I think.


Nana and Bryceton going outside!


Dec 2004, right before we found out she was sick.


Our last picture together :(


3 generations.


You gotta love those pants, lol......Christmas 2001


Her wedding day Jan 2004.


And this her after chemo. She hated wearing wigs, she said they were itchy. It doesn’t even look like who she was, and even going through all that pain, she still smiles, she still thanked God, she still loved. I miss her so much, and so much do I wish I could at LEAST go back and tell her how much she meant to me and how sorry I am. I really think she would be proud of me now. I hope so anyway, I do it all for her. I love you mom.........

In Memory
Rebecca Lynne(Cross) Stout
August 31, 1963 - September 1, 2005
Our loving Nana, forever in our hearts.
We miss you.