Hating Life

Well here is a little update for those who care:

Last Tuesday, not this past one, but the one before, Blaine says the van won’t stop hardly because it needs brakes. So we have like 0 dollars, so I call up Sears and ask them if they take checks, and they say they do, which is great because we can write the check and put Blaine’s pay check in Thursday night right? Hee hee hee. So we get to Sears where we also notice we need 2 new tires because the wire was showing through, we also need new rotors (sp?) drums, and a serpentine (sp again?) belt. And an Alignment. They proceed to tell us it will be $700 total, I wanted to die, but it had to be fixed. 

So we leave the van there, and we all 6 (yes the kids too) get in the car to drive to Blaine’s work so I could drop him off. We are on a 4 lane road, and we are in the right lane, waiting at a red light behind traffic, to turn right. It was about 3:30 p.m, so school and work traffic was bad! I notice a black car in the left lane beside us, then I notice an over sized load truck in the left turning lane, trying to turn into the driveway behind us....I see him get close to the black car with his trailer.  But it pulled up and escaped harm. We however did not have that option as a car was right in front of us. I scream " OMG he’s gonna...........(bam, crash crunch) hit us." And he did, tore the bumper right off our brand new car. I called the police first thing, and they arrive only to hear that guy say we backed into him. I was so TICKED! Who backs up into trailers at a red light? So I have been dealing with that stress all these past 2 weeks, stress at work, so I quit my job, stress with the whole Michael thing. 

I saw a lawyer, and we talked about again, working out a joint custody thing with Michael’s lawyer, so Michael said he would talk to his lawyer and see what he thought about the situation, but every day I ask him if he has talked to him, he says not yet. I only have 20 days to respond from the day I picked it up, so if I haven’t heard anything by next week, I gotta pay $600. Oh and when we went to get the van, they called some 1800 number, and it wouldn’t take our check because we hadn’t had the account for at least 6 months, and of course there wasn’t enough money in there to just go get it so Blaine’s grandma had to wire us $710, and it cost her $45 to do that. 

And I don’t know if any of you knew this but Blaine decided to speed one day and got stopped by a state trooper, doing 74 in a 55, got 3 tickets, go Blaine! He has to go to court on that the 17th, one day before my birthday! Our air conditioner didn’t seem to be working right for 2 months, it was set on 73, and yet got up to 84 in here, Our electric bill has been $200 for 2 months, we did everything we could think of, so finally I called the company who built our house, and they being so polite, sent a guy out here, a nice guy. So nice he stole my brand new motorola pink L2 (a $250 phone) off my couch.......Of course no one believes me. My kids must have it they say. Yeah well I guess they ate it in the 15 minutes I was in the kitchen and it wasn’t in my sight. They never play with my phone, they get in big trouble and they know it! So being the "nice" thing to do the company offers me $100 toward a new phone to shut me up. I was tickedd until I found a whole bunch of hot pink razrs on ebay brand new unlocked, unopened for $98! I ordered it, but it hasn’t got here yet. With my luck it will be lost in the mail and I’ll never get it.

School pretty much sucks, if I got out just 15 minutes sooner, the kids wouldnt have to go to daycare, so I ask the teacher could she let me go those 15 minutes, and she gives me a long speech about me needing to be there for the whole class blah blah, she can’t allow that, blah blah, so I go call Blaine, take the girls to day care I say. What happens? She lets the class out 15 minutes early, but Blaine had already dropped them off. STUPID LADY!!!!

What’s worse? Today was my mom’s birthday. She would have been 44, and the 2 people I needed to talk to most,  weren’t there for me. Too busy with other things. I am not even going to pretend I am not hurt by their actions. I kinda understand they have so much going on too, but it only takes 2 minutes to say hey, I know today is your mom’s birthday, and tomorrow is 2 years since she passed, but I am thinking of you today. It does hurt. I have been bawling all day. Why God Why? Everything would just be so much easier to deal with if I just had my mom to lean on..........

Blaine and I got into a HUGE fight last night. He left for about 30 minutes and I called Jade for a bit, we both calmed down and worked it all out. He is going with me tomorrow to my mom’s grave and that makes me feel a lot better, I haven’t been since this time last year. Oh and we are going to get marriage counseling because we both love each other and we want to learn how to stop taking the stress out on each other and communicate better. If you guys know anyone around here you recommend, I’d love to hear about them.

Last but not least, CONGRATULATIONS to Amanda aka Cox n Balls who passed her bar examine. She is now officially a lawyer. I knew you had it in you !

I'll take another Helping of Stress please

Sometimes I feel that is stamped on my forehead....Why me? I used to ask. Now I have learned to embrace the stress, expect it, maybe even have sex with it.....

Knock knock. Now you say "who’s there?"... "Lettuce" Now you say "Lettuce who?"

"Lettuce have some more stress!"

Anywhoser (haha Chuck and Larry!) I got a certified letter at the post office. I was almost 99% sure it was from Douchebag about visitation and stuff seeing as how he hasn’t been around or contacted me since, APRIL....but no. As I go to pick up the girls from Michael’s house today I tell him of the letter and how I haven’t yet had time to get it. He then informs me that it’s from HIS lawyer, asking for full Custody of Madison. I guess he expected me to just hand it over. We pretty much got into a big fight, and I cried. Mostly because I felt so betrayed by my friend. Because that is what I considered him. But I should have known that the igotistical, manipulative, controlling, self-absorbed asshole he was when we lived together would eventually imerge. He said the living situation doesn’t have to change, and he doesn’t want me to pay child support (and why would Iwhen both of us support her?) He just wants to make sure I am not going to run off with her??? Yeah cuz I just threaten him with that all the time. I never have!!!! But so like, if he has sole custody I guess he won’t? I alreadly know he has a lil girlfriend in New Mexico so what would stop him from taking my first born daughter there? Anyway I offered a compromise of joint custody, which he hatefully refused, and then continued on to tell me that if I fight it, he will take her from me and make me pay child support as well, as she lives with him. WTF ever! How many of you know me? How many of you know what goes on here? Blaine or I (usually Blaine) picks them up at 6:15 to 6:30 a.m. every morning, where they stay here at their HOUSE until Michael decides to pick them up. I say decides because though he gets off at 4:30, sometimes he doesn’t actually arrive until 6:00 pm or later. And on Monday nights, they stay the night with me. Weekends, we trade off. Who ever has plans, or doesn’t. And where was Madison when Michael was over seas for 2 months? HERE! Where was she when he went to New Mexico last week to fuck his little whore? HERE and her Pa Pa’s. Technically I have custody because we weren’t married. I WILL fight for my child. I mean shit, he treats me like a damned baby sitter instead of her mother, then tells me "No you act like one." I supply everything she needs here. Toys, clothes, food, water, shoes, toothbrush! EVERYTHING! I get her pictures made and remind him to meet me to order some. I fix her hair, I handle ALL her birthday parties. He has NEVER thrown her a birthday party. I have! And he just comes. And this year was the first year he even brought a present and only cuz I asked him too because we couldn’t afford a whole lot this time. I just feel like my best friend stabbed me in the back. I am hurt, and confused. He has always wanted it his way or no way....and I won’t stand for it any longer. I give him respect as her father. He didn’t want her ears pierced, I did. She doesn’t have them. He doesn’t want her bangs cut, I don’t cut them (but he let his mom do it) He doesn’t want her to get shots any more, I didn’t get her one a few months back. I repect him, but I don’t get that back. I am a convience for him. A free babysitter....With all my heart and soul I will fight for her. I won’t give up. He doesn’t want joint custody, then fine I’ll take it ALL!!!!!!!!

So if you could keep me in your hearts, I need some friends, some support, some help. If the need comes, I need some witnesses. You have seen her living here, You have been to her birthday parties, you have seen she is fed, clothed, and happy. He will have to prove me unfit and that is impossible, because I am not!


Other than that, which like I said, couldn’t have come at a worse time money and stress wise....everything is ok. Of course I had to drop a class and take a gay PE class because I have to be out of school before daycare closes now. Since Michael was going to be keeping the girls while I was in class....But I gotta do what I gotta do to stay in school, because my loan money is gone. It’s not even here and it’s gone. Damn Bills. We got a new kitty. The other one wouldn’t stop chewing Isabella’s bottle nipples completely off. Hopefully this one won’t. She is a tiny baby too. OH and I met LACEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DLK:ERFG{PQGOLREQ{!@!!! It was rather exciting. I just wish we would have had more time, and that Blaine hadn’t been here. Even though he hid out in the bedroom, I know he was listening, so it was kinda hard to talk girl talk.....Thanks for coming by LaCeY<3. And her boobs are awesome in person. It was nice to have met them. OH and we touched toes. It was hot.....

I'll Take another helping of Stress Please

Sometimes I feel that is stamped on my forehead....Why me? I used to ask. Now I have learned to embrace the stress, expect it, maybe kiss it.....

Knock knock. Now you say "who’s there?"... "Lettuce" Now you say "Lettuce who?"

"Lettuce have some more stress!"

Anywhoser (haha Chuck and Larry!) I got a certified letter at the post office. I was almost 99% sure it was from Robert about visitation and stuff seeing as how he hasn’t been around or contacted me since, APRIL....but no. As I go to pick up the girls from Michael’s house today I tell him of the letter and how I haven’t yet had time to get it. 

He then informs me that it’s from HIS lawyer, asking for full Custody of Madison. I guess he expected me to just hand it over. We pretty much got into a big fight, and I cried. Mostly because I felt so betrayed by my friend. Because that is what I considered him. But I should have known that the igotistical, manipulative, controlling, self-absorbed jerk he was when we lived together would eventually imerge. He said the living situation doesn’t have to change, and he doesn’t want me to pay child support (and why would I when both of us support her?) He just wants to make sure I am not going to run off with her??? Yeah because I just threaten him with that all the time. I never have!!!! But so like, if he has sole custody I guess he won’t? I alreadly know he has a lil girlfriend in New Mexico so what would stop him from taking my first born daughter there?

Anyway I offered a compromise of joint custody, which he hatefully refused, and then continued on to tell me that if I fight it, he will take her from me and make me pay child support as well, as she lives with him. Whatever! How many of you know me? How many of you know what goes on here? Blaine or I (usually Blaine) picks them up at 6:15 to 6:30 a.m. every morning, where they stay here at their HOUSE until Michael decides to pick them up. I say decides because though he gets off at 4:30, sometimes he doesn’t actually arrive until 6:00 pm or later. And on Monday nights, they stay the night with me. Weekends, we trade off. Who ever has plans, or doesn’t. And where was Madison when Michael was over seas for 2 months? HERE! 

Where was she when he went to New Mexico last week to see his little girlfriend? HERE and her Pa Pa’s. Technically I have custody because we weren’t married. I WILL fight for my child. I mean , he treats me like a baby sitter instead of her mother, then tells me "No you act like one." I supply everything she needs here. Toys, clothes, food, water, shoes, toothbrush! EVERYTHING! I get her pictures made and remind him to meet me to order some. I fix her hair, I handle ALL her birthday parties. He has NEVER thrown her a birthday party. I have! And he just comes. And this year was the first year he even brought a present and only because I asked him too because we couldn’t afford a whole lot this time. I just feel like my best friend stabbed me in the back. I am hurt, and confused. He has always wanted it his way or no way....and I won’t stand for it any longer. I give him respect as her father. He didn’t want her ears pierced, I did. She doesn’t have them. He doesn’t want her bangs cut, I don’t cut them (but he let his mom do it) He doesn’t want her to get shots any more, I didn’t get her one a few months back. I repect him, but I don’t get that back. I am a convience for him. A free babysitter....With all my heart and soul I will fight for her. I won’t give up. He doesn’t want joint custody, then fine I’ll take it ALL!!!!!!!!

So if you could keep me in your hearts, I need some friends, some support, some help. If the need comes, I need some witnesses. You have seen her living here, You have been to her birthday parties, you have seen she is fed, clothed, and happy. He will have to prove me unfit and that is impossible, because I am not!

Other than that, which like I said, couldn’t have come at a worse time money and stress wise....everything is ok. Of course I had to drop a class and take a  PE class because I have to be out of school before daycare closes now. Since Michael was going to be keeping the girls while I was in class....But I gotta do what I gotta do to stay in school, because my loan money is gone. It’s not even here and it’s gone. Darn Bills. 

OH and I met LACEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DLK:ERFG{PQGOLREQ{!@!!! It was rather exciting. I just wish we would have had more time, and that Blaine hadn’t been here. Even though he hid out in the bedroom, I know he was listening, so it was kinda hard to talk girl talk.....Thanks for coming by LaCeY<3. OH and we touched toes. It was hot.....LOL