Isabella turns 5

Well I am just getting to sit down and write this post. I often think about this day in 2007. Not just because Isabella was born but because of what I had endured to get her here and how lucky and blessed I am that God spared my life that day.

Let's go back to 2006. Blaine and I had been together just a few short months when we got married. And right away we wanted to add to our family. I have always enjoyed being pregnant and I wanted to experience that with Blaine. We tried for several months but it just wasn't happening. I even had a sort of race going with my buddy Erica who was also trying to get pregnant. We said whom ever got their first would be treated to lunch by the other, lol. Remember that Erica?

In August, I sat down with Blaine who was thinking maybe he couldn't even have kids at this point. I told him I wanted to go back to college. I had briefly attended one semester back in 2004 after Madison was born but I couldn't afford to go to school and work full time so I gave it up. Then along came Kadence and well it just got pushed to the back burner.

So I tell Blaine I am going to get back on my birth control and go back to school and we could wait until I was done to add to our big family. Again here's an example how everything works in God's time and not ours. School started that semester, and it went great for me. I loved my classes, I loved getting out of the house for a few hours, and coming home and having Kadence to myself at night. Bryceton and Madison went home with Michael at night and Blaine worked second shift.

One night, September 13, just a couple of weeks after school started, I was watching 7th Heaven while Blaine was at work. I started bawling and I didn't even know why. I sat there for a good half hour before it even dawned on me that I should take a test. I didn't want to get Kadence out of bed to go to Wal-mart so I called Sheryl and asked her to get me 2 tests. It didn't even take 5 seconds for it to pink up....so I took another. Yep 2 pink lines. I was so excited I kept calling Blaine at work and told him the news. I think he was in shock lol.

He really wanted a girl and I didn't care either way but in January we found out we were expecting a girl :)

Here is the blog I posted from her birth:

I think it was around 7:45 before the nurses even came in there to get me all hooked up and what not. They started my pitocin around 8, but she had checked me right after and I was already a 4, so she got everything ready for my epidural. So before I could even start to feel my contractions, I got my epidural. And I must admit, I actually did shed like one tear on that part, and I was very surprised. It wasn’t my first epidural but it was the only one that ever hurt. But it was just a real sharp pain for just a second. Then after that nothing. No pain, couldn’t even feel my contractions at all, and my last epidurals didn’t work that well. I still had a severe amount of pain with them. So I relaxed for like 2 hours and told Blaine to tell the nurse i was feeling a lot of pressure. She checked me and I was fully dilated and the head was way down there. She told me to push and I told her I thought we should wait for the dr because I am a good pusher and it wouldn’t take me long. She said well that baby is still kinda up there so just push and we will call him later. So I pushed twice, and she was like, Oh we better get him in here! But as soon as she said that the dr walked in the door. I pushed 2 more times and she was here. Again no pain at all. Couldn’t feel anything but pressure. So here I am all pushed out and ready to eat, and the nurse is grabbing my belly and squeezing it like I have never been squeezed before. She and Blaine kept changing the pads from under me, and squeezing and just blood gushing out everywhere. She repeats this about 10 times and I am still gushing, and she tells another nurse that they need the dr back in there. So he comes back and of course I am screaming and crying in pain and I am scared too. He squeezes as well, and I am not talking about a little pushing, I am saying they were grabbing me like pizza dough, I even have nail marks from the nurses fingernails. He orders some kind of pills that are supposed to make the uterus contract and squeezes more. He leaves for about 45 minutes and comes back, and has to manually pull blood clots out of me, that means he stuck his hand up there......Talk about the worst pain ever. Worse than any labor. He orders more pills to be shoved up me, and still blood everywhere. He tells them to get me more epidural to help the pain, and then orders me to have blood asap. Not one pint, not two pints, but THREE pints of blood. They won’t let me eat,  I can’t walk, so they wheel my bed to a recovery room where again I am pushed on and squeezed and injected with some strangers blood. He said I could have died, and if I have any more kids, I most likely will.....I wanted my mom so bad. I wanted people to go away and leave me alone because if I couldn’t have my mom I didn’t want anyone else.......Anyways I am confined to my bed for 30 something hours. No shower, no walking, no sitting up for too long. Nurses poking me and prodding me and all these cords coming out all ways of my body. I couldn’t breast feed my baby because every time I tried either she hurt my IV arm, or my blood pressure cuff rubbed her face or certain people in the room making me uncomfortable. Then the nurses kept saying to "get some rest" but the blood pressure thing would ding every 5 minutes and they wouldn’t ever come turn it off unless Blaine went and told them too. Or they were coming in to take blood. Why give me blood if they are just going to take it back? It was a horrible experience and I never wish that on anyone.

I finally got to get up and have a shower the following day at 11 and then they took all my cords away too. I was so relieved. But I had to stay another day because they made me. It Was not my choice! I don’t have tons of pictures of her yet because I can’t get around very well, and Blaine was by my side the whole time so he didn’t care about taking pictures. He just didn’t want his wife to die. He was pretty scared.

So Thanks to the Lord I made it through! And we were blessed with a beautiful little 9 pound 6 ounce girl inside and out. We have loved watching her grow and learn. She is so smart and curious. a Tom boy through and through but also not afraid to show her girly side. She started and graduated from preschool this year, caught her first grasshopper (And about 50 more after), learned to write her name and made new friends. 

Some things about her I want to remember is her favorite movie is Twilight <3 She prefers to watch shows and movies adults would watch over cartoons. She loves to carry trinkets, trash, and treasures in bags or purses. Lip gloss is her favorite item. She is a daddy's girl. She has a heart for animals including bugs..(ewww) she doesnt like syrup or chocolate much at all. She loves fresh fruit and burgers. she eats ketchup on her macaroni and cheese. Her favorite place to eat is Logan's. When she gets really tired, she sucks her fingers and twirls her hair. She can make a pony tail WAY better than daddy. She loves music and singing. She will sing just about any song or commercial that comes on. She calls a bruise a "brew" lol and she smiles "with her dimples"

We are very proud of  Isabella Serenity Lynne Lott and we cannot be she is already 5 and will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I hope we are blessed with many, many more birthdays with our sweet little birdie.

How does this keep happening?

I mean, I look at my blog and realize I haven't posted in a month! And everything has changed on here. New designs and stuff. Crazy.


Okay so on April 22, 2012 Kadence lost her first tooth. To her pleasure the tooth fairy gave her $2, which she then gave to me because " You don't have any money momma." What a heart! But I made her keep it, not to worry!

In April we also had Isabella's "Aloha Kindergarten" Night. Basically Kindergarten registration with games and food and fun! It's hard to believe she will be in kindergarten next year and Olivia in preschool. 


Blaine came home for 5 and half days. The first time since February. We were all happy for him to be home and very sad to see him go. But we are going to try for him to come home for 3 days every 3 weeks. 


I am reading a new book, "My So Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife." It's about being a better wife and mother and how it's okay not to be perfect. So far so good and I really think I will learn something from it. The first 2 chapters have already made me want to "Clean House" my house. Though it will be hard to be a better wife to a husband whom is not here, I will still try my best with every day. 

Wednesday May 9th, was Olivia's last day at Bost. She tested out of their program. I am very sad because I was at least hoping to have 2 more weeks at home to myself to get things done but I am glad that she is smart enough to go to preschool and has corrected some her of dyslexic speaking. 

Thursday night (May 10th) Kadence had a music program at the school of all the songs they had learned through out the year. Her class had "Hey Jack" and had to wear Halloween costumes. It was very cute!!


I am leaving the 25th to go get Madison, willing that we have enough funds to pay for the gas and meals. I can only imagine it's going to take at least $400 in gas. But I haven't seen her since November, and I miss her so much.


Speaking of being a mom, tomorrow, is one of the days I dread most (the first being the day my mom died, the third being her birthday and the 4tnh being my birthday as I am no longer going to be in my 20's...BOO) Mother's Day. I hate thee. I am sorry to rain on anyone's parade and I know I should just be "positive" and thankful for the time I had with her and the time that I have with my kids, but until you have lost one of the most important people in your life, you will not know how it feels. You do not know the pain seeing everyone's happy facebook posts and photos. You do not feel the envy that comes from seeing you and your mom and her grandchildren in their Sunday best after church going to a nice lunch. I would give almost anything to have my mom here for one more Mother's Day. One more hug, one more kiss, one more "I love you." The other day I heard the kids talking while I was driving. Kadence asked Bryceton if she had a nana. He replied yeah but she's dead. I was thankful my sunglasses hid my tears as I politely asked them to talk about something else. 


I normally stay home and lock myself in the room and cry all day. But since Blaine isn't here to help with the kids I will be putting on my happy (fake happy) face and go to church (New Life Church is AWESOME!!) and spend the day cleaning up after and caring for my kiddos. That is why I am a mother isn't it?

Guess that is about it for now. Does anyone even read this?? LOL! Oh well I will have it for me and the kids to look back on when they are grown. :) So, to all of you out there Happy Mother's Day and I mean that even though it isn't happy for me.