That Felt Kind of Good

Well today was a new day for me. I stood up to Michael for the first time EVER! Since we have split up he has controlled everything and walked all over me. But it is time that has stopped. Thanks to a dear friend talking me through it I was able to stand up to him and demand respect. As you know Michael filed for full custody of Madison.  I told him we could do joint custody and he had some kind of schedule all cooked up. SO I read over it and said I wanted to change 3 things and that everything else could stay. 1.) I wanted it to say for the judge’s sake ( because they are nit picky about having exact times) that I get her 6 am to 6pm and he gets her 6 pm to 6 am. (it’s more like 6:15 am, but there are days that he doesn’t get here to pick them up until after 6 sometimes even 7) I wanted an equal time amount set ya know? 2.) I get them every Monday night, over night. Because with school and now work, I don’t get my full day of time to spend with them. And 3.) If he gets deployed or dies I get her and if I die he does, which he just common sense but he had put his parents get her and that isn’t the law. We were alternating weekends, and for over 3 years we have done, you buy for her at your house and I buy for her here. EVERYTHING she has here, I bought for her. Same at his house, he bought. We SHARE the costs. So those 3 things I listed was all I wanted to change in the agreement that HE drafted up. But he decided he just doesn’t want to agree to that.  He says how it can stay how we have been doing it, but he still wants full custody. I say why? His reasons, well he thinks I am stupid and that I am going to believe he can’t leave her his life insurance unless he has full custody of her. BS! OR "In case he gets transferred to  another base (yeah like in New Mexico where his girlfriend lives) he is going to take her with him! LIKE I AM GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN!

And remember when Madison busted her lip? YEAH...how about he and his mother took pictures of it, but I never really thought too much about it until today. Well we had a cat. It had fleas. I tried shampoos, collars, and that oil crap you put on the back of their neck. Still fleas, at least she was scratching all the time anyway. So I made her an outside cat. Then Madison started getting all these red bumps on her. Boy they look terrible now. But she keeps picking at them. Anyway of course Michael blames me and says fleas. What I don’t get is why no one else in this house has even ONE bite on them. And I have never seen a flea on her at all. He says he saw one in the bathroom....ooooooo oh no! ONE flea! Well they kept getting worse (her bites that is). SO I told him to take her to the dr and find out just what it was. That was last Thursday, he comes back saying yep it’s fleas. So I say well Blaine gets paid tonight we will go this weekend and get bombs. AND WE DID! But we haven’t set them off yet. You have to be gone 4 hours and last weekend was mine so who really wants to take 4 kids somewhere for 4 hours. So we decide to do it this Saturday as in 3 days from now as it is Michael’s weekend and that would have left us with 2 kids instead of 4. Apparently I am not moving fast enough for Michael, or he just wants to do whatever he can to make me seem like an unfit mother. Yesterday He is overheard on the phone by a friend of mine who is watching the kids that he needs his camera to take pictures of the "flea bites". I was so ticked today when I found out. OMG! You know Madison comes over here every Spring and Summer just ATE up with mosquito bites from his house and I don’t  take pictures of it. AND it’s not like I am sitting around not doing anything or planning to do anything about it.
So he gets here today and I don’t let him in. He says he isn’t leaving without the kids and I say too bad. SO he calls the cops on me. Who just tell him when they get here that they can’t make me give her to him....which I knew that. So he leaves and tells me how he is going to ask his lawyer to file temporary custody because I am unfit. Because SHE tripped and busted her lip? And because the CAT had fleas? I didn’t go out and buy a bag of fleas and dump them in my house and say here fleas eat my kids. And Kadence and Isabella lay in the floor all day long. Still no bites. So I called her dr because the lip thing is the ONLY thing that has ever happened to my kids, no broken bones, cuts, or bad bruises except the ones Michael has left on their butts form using a wooden paddle on them so hard. AND I did take pictures of that but Blaine being a moron deleted them because he said he thought I put them in my photobucket, so I’m out of luck on that. But the dr was out so the nurse pulled Madison’s charts. It didn’t say "FLEA BITES" it said "BITES" and she was like, "BIG DEAL OMG ANYONE CAN GET FLEAS IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU UNFIT!" She said bring Madison in Monday and he is going to do an all over check up on her and submit me a record stating she has been well taken care of and not abused since he has been seeing her, which is from birth!

I always said I would never ever do this. Keep her from her dad. Now I am a liar. But what other choice do I have? How would you feel if you had to ask permission before you could see your daughter? Take her anywhere? Get her shots? I am her nanny in his eyes, but today I am nanny no more. Last night when I went to pick up the babies Madison opened the door and said "Poo Poo, your mom’s here!" It broke my heart. He has brainwashed her to do that, I know it! She isn’t like that when he isn’t around. She is sweet and says she loves me and hugs me or wants to brush my hair. When he is around the first thing she says to me is "I don’t want you no more" Or "I can’t love you no more"

Please pray we get through this. I WILL NOT go down without a fight!