Friday, August 31, 2007

I'll take another Helping of Stress please

Sometimes I feel that is stamped on my forehead....Why me? I used to ask. Now I have learned to embrace the stress, expect it, maybe even have sex with it.....

Knock knock. Now you say "who’s there?"... "Lettuce" Now you say "Lettuce who?"

"Lettuce have some more stress!"

Anywhoser (haha Chuck and Larry!) I got a certified letter at the post office. I was almost 99% sure it was from Douchebag about visitation and stuff seeing as how he hasn’t been around or contacted me since, APRIL....but no. As I go to pick up the girls from Michael’s house today I tell him of the letter and how I haven’t yet had time to get it. He then informs me that it’s from HIS lawyer, asking for full Custody of Madison. I guess he expected me to just hand it over. We pretty much got into a big fight, and I cried. Mostly because I felt so betrayed by my friend. Because that is what I considered him. But I should have known that the igotistical, manipulative, controlling, self-absorbed asshole he was when we lived together would eventually imerge. He said the living situation doesn’t have to change, and he doesn’t want me to pay child support (and why would Iwhen both of us support her?) He just wants to make sure I am not going to run off with her??? Yeah cuz I just threaten him with that all the time. I never have!!!! But so like, if he has sole custody I guess he won’t? I alreadly know he has a lil girlfriend in New Mexico so what would stop him from taking my first born daughter there? Anyway I offered a compromise of joint custody, which he hatefully refused, and then continued on to tell me that if I fight it, he will take her from me and make me pay child support as well, as she lives with him. WTF ever! How many of you know me? How many of you know what goes on here? Blaine or I (usually Blaine) picks them up at 6:15 to 6:30 a.m. every morning, where they stay here at their HOUSE until Michael decides to pick them up. I say decides because though he gets off at 4:30, sometimes he doesn’t actually arrive until 6:00 pm or later. And on Monday nights, they stay the night with me. Weekends, we trade off. Who ever has plans, or doesn’t. And where was Madison when Michael was over seas for 2 months? HERE! Where was she when he went to New Mexico last week to fuck his little whore? HERE and her Pa Pa’s. Technically I have custody because we weren’t married. I WILL fight for my child. I mean shit, he treats me like a damned baby sitter instead of her mother, then tells me "No you act like one." I supply everything she needs here. Toys, clothes, food, water, shoes, toothbrush! EVERYTHING! I get her pictures made and remind him to meet me to order some. I fix her hair, I handle ALL her birthday parties. He has NEVER thrown her a birthday party. I have! And he just comes. And this year was the first year he even brought a present and only cuz I asked him too because we couldn’t afford a whole lot this time. I just feel like my best friend stabbed me in the back. I am hurt, and confused. He has always wanted it his way or no way....and I won’t stand for it any longer. I give him respect as her father. He didn’t want her ears pierced, I did. She doesn’t have them. He doesn’t want her bangs cut, I don’t cut them (but he let his mom do it) He doesn’t want her to get shots any more, I didn’t get her one a few months back. I repect him, but I don’t get that back. I am a convience for him. A free babysitter....With all my heart and soul I will fight for her. I won’t give up. He doesn’t want joint custody, then fine I’ll take it ALL!!!!!!!!

So if you could keep me in your hearts, I need some friends, some support, some help. If the need comes, I need some witnesses. You have seen her living here, You have been to her birthday parties, you have seen she is fed, clothed, and happy. He will have to prove me unfit and that is impossible, because I am not!


Other than that, which like I said, couldn’t have come at a worse time money and stress wise....everything is ok. Of course I had to drop a class and take a gay PE class because I have to be out of school before daycare closes now. Since Michael was going to be keeping the girls while I was in class....But I gotta do what I gotta do to stay in school, because my loan money is gone. It’s not even here and it’s gone. Damn Bills. We got a new kitty. The other one wouldn’t stop chewing Isabella’s bottle nipples completely off. Hopefully this one won’t. She is a tiny baby too. OH and I met LACEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DLK:ERFG{PQGOLREQ{!@!!! It was rather exciting. I just wish we would have had more time, and that Blaine hadn’t been here. Even though he hid out in the bedroom, I know he was listening, so it was kinda hard to talk girl talk.....Thanks for coming by LaCeY<3. And her boobs are awesome in person. It was nice to have met them. OH and we touched toes. It was hot.....

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