Random Stuff

Lots of random thoughts here and there. I don’t want to sit here long, but I needed a break. I’m nesting. If you don’t know what that means, I am crazily and thoroughly cleaning the house, packing hospital bags, getting ready to have a baby. I am hoping all this work will put me into a labor, or at least dilate me more so I can go ahead and be induced next week. It has taken me all day to just do a little bit though. I can’t move too fast and I get dizzy easily, so I sit down. Laundry has been piled to the ceiling since I have been resting, and I want to get that all caught up BEFORE the baby gets here to make more.

My dad called me tonight. We talked for an hour, and I swear that is the longest conversation I have had with him EVER. I could tell he was drunk, (he always is). But he seemed rather concerned with my sister. She is 14 and chose to go live with her mom (which is the worst mistake she could have ever made). That woman made my life hell for 15 years. She and my dad married when I was 4. Gave MY bedroom to her 2 brat sons and made me sleep on the couch. She made me her slave. At 5 years old, I was responsible for doing more than half of the house work. Even though I had to stand in a chair to do the dishes and dusting, and the vacuum weighed more than I did. She had a paddle, a big heavy wooden paddle. And she loved to use it on me. Especially when my step-brothers did something bad. "Well I must have talked them into it because her angels wouldn’t do things like that" When I was 6 years old, She cut my hair off like a boy. My beautiful long blonde silky hair. Why? Because she was tired of me not brushing it right......My mom tried so hard to get custody of me, but she wasn’t married, had a one bedroom apartment, and not a very good job. Then one day my step mom had beat me with that paddle so hard, I had bruises everywhere. "Say you fell down the stairs, if you do I will buy you anything you want for Christmas....." My mom was giving me a bath that weekend. What happened she asked...I fell down the stairs I told her. Christmas came, I got the Baby Alive that was so wanted by every girl that it was out of stock at Wal-mart and Toys-R-Us. The next day I told my mom the truth...hee hee hee. She got custody of me after an embarrassing scene of police officers taking pictures of my butt and legs. That woman is awful. And now my sister knows it for herself. So her and my dad have been battling it out in court. And what does my sister’s mother say to my dad? "Don’t you care about your daughter? Do you want her to turn out like Angie?"  That’s what she said. What is so bad about being like me? OH more people judging me because my kids have different dads.....But what really gets me is the people that do it. HER of all people. Her who had 2 kids, divorced that guy, married my dad, had 2 more kids, cheated on him with another guy, divorced my dad, married that guy and had yet another kid with him.....How dare she think she is better than me. Why because she was married BEFORE her kids were born? Well we see where that got her. 2 trips to divorce court. I am smart, I saved money....  I don’t want my sister to be exactly like me. I want her to go straight from high school to college without any kids. I want her to be out of college when she marries, I want her to save herself for her husband. But kids are gonna do what they want, and I would sure rather her have a couple of kids before she is married than have her beat her kids, live off a man for 20 years before she gets a job, never go to college, and make her kids her own personal slaves.....

I mean, I go to college (maybe not actually go there right now) I have worked since I was 16 until a little after I got pregnant with Kadence, but if I didn’t have school, I would work. I have a wonderful husband, who isn’t always perfect, but neither am I. I take DARN good care of my kids. They are never without anything and they never will be. I have my own house, my own van, I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs.....I don’t beat my kids, even though I won’t pretend I haven’t wanted to, lol. What is so bad about being like me? She should be proud to have had me for a stepdaughter. And I try to talk to my sister about things, not making the same choices I have made...but like I said, there are far worse things she could do. I swear I think I am going to write her a letter and tell her off. Anyways, my dad and I talked about that and about what’s going on here with the kids and stuff. I told him that if he gets my sister back, he better put his foot down and stop letting her have her way all the time. Her mother too strict, she can’t even wear "thong" panties, can only go to school and back, and all kinds of other rules, but my dad is way way way too loose in his parenting. Let’s her have everything she wants, go to her friends house all times of the week, doesn’t make her clean her room, he even got her a cell phone. How many of you had a cell phone at 14 that your parents paid for? Yeah that’s what I thought.

Ok moving on.....Man this turned out longer than I had planned. Well I am feeling  a little unappreciated here lately. I feel like nothing I do is good enough, and I feel left out. I guess it’s these hormones, but still. Why is it so hard for people to say "thank you" or "I really appreciate what you do" ? The world is slowly going down the drain.....I really need a vacation from my life.

But in good news, Blaine’s phone he had before we met is available for an upgrade. This means I get a brand new pink razr phone for free!!! Just an $18 upgrade fee....So we are going tomorrow to get that and I no longer have to use this crappy one. Mmmkkk I guess that is all. And I am really craving apple pie.

*EDIT EDIT EDIT*
I don’t get the razr phone, BUT I do get the new pink motorola L2 for free....I don’t even have to pay the upgrade fee or the shipping! Yay! I hope it hurries and gets here